Don't know why...

There is a song by Norah Jones called Don't know why, and although it has nothing to do with what this post is about, I thought the title to her song was very appropriate.

Today I am feeling unbelievably grateful and truly blessed.

Never in a million years could I have imagined the feelings I am having at this moment, and they are the most wonderful feelings in the world! Tonight as I was rocking Sadie after nursing her at bedtime she fell asleep on my shoulder, and I rocked her a bit longer than I normally would. She is so amazing, such a blessing, such a sweet lovable little girl, and I just cant wrap my mind around the fact that she is mine.

I have a very dear friend that has been trying to get pregnant for 10 months now... and I know of other friends and relatives who have struggled with conception issues as well. So I cant help but wonder why I was so lucky and blessed to be able to get pregnant right away with Sadie, why my pregnancy was so healthy, and why was Sadie born a healthy 9lb 15oz...

I don't know why God does what he does, I do know that everything happens for a reason. I lost my job 15 months ago for a reason, that was to be a mommy. I never thought I would be happy being a stay at home mom, but I cant imagine it being any other way.

There are reasons that people struggle with fertility issues... I don't know why, but there is. It is very hard for me to watch my good friend go through this struggle. I wish I could fix it for her. I wish I could wave a magic wand and have her experience what I am experiencing. I wish sin wouldn't work the way it does and cause so much pain for such good people.

God has a plan and He uses even the most difficult situations for good. I know this. But amidst all of my joy and happiness today, there is a sadness in my heart for my friend (and others) who struggle to grow their family.